Hello everyone
I don't have much to report as simone and I have been lying low so we can pay back all the money we borrowed from family and banks. We are almost there. By the end of this month we will have paid back the bulk of it and we'll be booking our next adventure. We did manage to score 2 tickets to see U2 in Dublin in June, a life time dream, so that was pretty cool.
I do have some more stories about the jews, I guess I could talk about that. Simone and I love our jewish flat mates. Despite our every effort not to get close to them, we have fallen for their wonderful nature and kooky habits. In fact, we have gained a couple of life time friends who we love dearly. I won't tell you their names as I would hate to be sued by jews. that rhymes ! So lets call the girl Barbra, as in Streisand and the guy Jesus as in....what was Jesus' surname? Let say Jones. Any way, Barbra Streisand and Jesus Jones are really lovely people. Unfortunately Barbra can't sing despite the fact she insists on belting out tone deaf ditties every second of the day and Jesus can't turn water into wine, however he can turn cheap vegetables into something they claim is edible. They have a rule that they won't buy anything in a supermarket that costs more than a pound. You should see the shit they buy, it's not fit for Kiwis. (Hi Aaron and Chris)
Jesus bought a brand new bicycle the other day. He spent all night adjusting the seat, tightening bolts, flicking the chain and general making a dick of himself. He set out on his first day's ride full of excitement and pride. So it was with great humour that we found ourselves overhearing Barbra Streisand talking to the local hospital on the phone 45 minute later. She ran screaming from the house yelling, "Jesus has been hit by a car, he's bleeding an incoherent". Naturally Simone and I pissed ourselves as soon as she slammed the door. The image of him hitting the pavement was too much to bear. (he's ok folks - stop judging us !!) I texted Babs to find out the damage and she texted back with a range of injuries. Broken nose, stitches on his face, swollen gums, badly cut lip, various grazes on his cheeks. Simone laughed louder with every medical procedure I read out until she was a crying mess on the floor. She's such a bitch. I, however, kept in control. I had to, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to read the text. Anyway, he's ok now and the whole funny affair is over. Oh yeah, and his new bike is wrecked, as I said, very funny.
what else ?
Jesus hates it when we have too many lights on in the house because it wastes money. So we turn on as lights as we can at all hours of the day in an effort to drive him mad. It's great fun. The best thing is that we have 3 lights in our bedroom, one main light, one that lights up a picture wall and a bedside light. We turn on all 3 and watch him pluck up the courage to go in and turn them off. He regularly walks around the whole house turning lights off and I've seen him look into our bedroom and 'cluck' loudly. He is such a loveable guy, please don't think he's a tool. Well he is but, you know what I mean
Oh I know
I did a stupid thing before xmas that I haven't shared for fear of embarrassment, but now time has past and I can see the funny side. When Simone and I were first looking for a share house we put an add on the local property website but we weren't getting any calls. My theory was we weren't getting any because we are a married couple and people would think that we were boring, and not the party animals we are. So I devised a cunning scheme. I registered as a single male hoping to snare a cool place with a single guy who could introduce Simone and I to the London nightlife. You can probably see where this is going. I won't say anymore. I'll just show you the add -
I'm a layback yet tidy guy who likes the good things in life as well as the bad. Looking for a large room with double bed in any location. I grew up in Melbourne, lived in Sydney for the past 2 years and all my family live in Qld. I worked in promotions at a large record company for the past 8 years so I love music and heading out to clubs and gigs. I shared a place with a guy in Sydney and we had a ball. I'm considerate, tidy, and laid-back. I eat healthy foods and like to keep fit but don't mind a fair hang-over occasionally
So, as you can imagine, I had every gay may in London wanting to "hook up" with mike, the considerate, tidy, lay-back guy from Sydney who had a ball with his flat mate. It never occurred to me that what I had written could mean two things. Reading it now I realise it only meant one thing. Oh, and you should have heard the reaction when I mentioned that I had a wife. In the end he only reason I took it off the site was because my sister saw it. Once she had dragged herself off the floor, stopped laughing, wiped away her tears, and emailed my family....she told me to take it off. Wayne still calls occasionally, trying to get me out to his club in Soho. I admire his persistence but it ain't gonna happen.
We move into our new place in Kensington in 2 weeks and our good friends from Sydney arrive on the 1st of March to share a really cool 2 bedroom apartment in one of the coolest areas in London. Things are looking up and our London experience is about to kick into party mode.
Hope you're all well.
Speak soon
Mike
