Mike's No Bullshit Tour Diary - Sweden
Hi Everyone
It's great ! No one goes there so it's peaceful and full of cool local bars and clubs that are sadly lacking in the part of London we're in. Underground cellars in most pubs that shut you off from the world where you can do some serious bonding and an old world feel that has not been spoilt by intrusive marketing. People are friendly, air is clean, food is cheap and travel is easy.
Highlights -
*Eating Moose. I visited one at the Stockholm Zoo and then went home and ate one. I felt a bit guilty because I was always a Bullwinkle fan, but after a few bites I had to say, it was "Cartoon-alicious".
*Walking through the old town of Stockholm. We did it 5 times and never tired of it
*Laughing my arse off at their main museum which houses a perfectly preserved ancient war ship with double gun bays on each side. The dickheads took 2 years to build this incredible looking ship, only for it to tip over on it's maiden voyage in front of thousands of people watching it sail out of the harbour. I would steer clear of Ikea and Saabs from now on.
*I saw a guy wearing a cape. It was green and heavy and seemed part of his regular wardrobe
*Watching Stockholm's high standard of buskers. Examples - 7 piece Moroccan percussion group, 5 piece string quartet, Double Bass/Guitar duet, 3 piece American Indian pan flute band. Not one "statue" wanker to be seen. By-the-way, that's not busking in my books. Standing still is not worthy of anyone's spare change no matter hom much spray paint you're wearing
*seeing a respectable businessman in a suit with a black mesh see-through vest.
*Watching Sesame street in Swedish. I now have all the evidence I need. Ernie and Bert are gay. It's not till you watch them eating pepperoni pizza in bed together while speaking Swedish that the penny drops. P.S. I don't think Kermit was dubbed, he really seemed to know the language.
*seeing street signs with the word FARTIN on them. It means speed, so when ever there was a speed hump or a traffic sign asking you to slow down or speed up, it was there. I found myself giggling my stupid head off. You'd think that after the 50th time I'd get sick of it. You'd be wrong.
*getting drunk and playing on swings in a Stockholm playground at 3am with my mate and having some dude come up and offer us cocaine, ecstasy and hash. In fact they were the only 3 words of english he knew, including the word, No, and the phrase Fuck Off.
Lowlights -
*Not finding one Pinewood Hot-tub filled with 5 seven foot blond Swedish girls, calling out "Ya Mike, Com on zin! Ze Vater un Piping HOT!"
*eating salted licorice - a stockholm delicacy. It takes as shit as it sounds
*Finding out that Vikings never had horns on their helmets. So Haggard the Horrible, Fat Opera singers and Asterix have all been lieing to me
That's it.
Next week - Mike's No Bullshit Tour Diary - Jack The Ripper (Solved !)
Mike
It's great ! No one goes there so it's peaceful and full of cool local bars and clubs that are sadly lacking in the part of London we're in. Underground cellars in most pubs that shut you off from the world where you can do some serious bonding and an old world feel that has not been spoilt by intrusive marketing. People are friendly, air is clean, food is cheap and travel is easy.
Highlights -
*Eating Moose. I visited one at the Stockholm Zoo and then went home and ate one. I felt a bit guilty because I was always a Bullwinkle fan, but after a few bites I had to say, it was "Cartoon-alicious".
*Walking through the old town of Stockholm. We did it 5 times and never tired of it
*Laughing my arse off at their main museum which houses a perfectly preserved ancient war ship with double gun bays on each side. The dickheads took 2 years to build this incredible looking ship, only for it to tip over on it's maiden voyage in front of thousands of people watching it sail out of the harbour. I would steer clear of Ikea and Saabs from now on.
*I saw a guy wearing a cape. It was green and heavy and seemed part of his regular wardrobe
*Watching Stockholm's high standard of buskers. Examples - 7 piece Moroccan percussion group, 5 piece string quartet, Double Bass/Guitar duet, 3 piece American Indian pan flute band. Not one "statue" wanker to be seen. By-the-way, that's not busking in my books. Standing still is not worthy of anyone's spare change no matter hom much spray paint you're wearing
*seeing a respectable businessman in a suit with a black mesh see-through vest.
*Watching Sesame street in Swedish. I now have all the evidence I need. Ernie and Bert are gay. It's not till you watch them eating pepperoni pizza in bed together while speaking Swedish that the penny drops. P.S. I don't think Kermit was dubbed, he really seemed to know the language.
*seeing street signs with the word FARTIN on them. It means speed, so when ever there was a speed hump or a traffic sign asking you to slow down or speed up, it was there. I found myself giggling my stupid head off. You'd think that after the 50th time I'd get sick of it. You'd be wrong.
*getting drunk and playing on swings in a Stockholm playground at 3am with my mate and having some dude come up and offer us cocaine, ecstasy and hash. In fact they were the only 3 words of english he knew, including the word, No, and the phrase Fuck Off.
Lowlights -
*Not finding one Pinewood Hot-tub filled with 5 seven foot blond Swedish girls, calling out "Ya Mike, Com on zin! Ze Vater un Piping HOT!"
*eating salted licorice - a stockholm delicacy. It takes as shit as it sounds
*Finding out that Vikings never had horns on their helmets. So Haggard the Horrible, Fat Opera singers and Asterix have all been lieing to me
That's it.
Next week - Mike's No Bullshit Tour Diary - Jack The Ripper (Solved !)
Mike
posted by Gazza @ 6:22 pm
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